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Paradigms and points of view


One of the most interesting things to me is how we can be so sure that we are being clear, or that we are communicating our position perfectly, yet someone else interprets it in a totally different way.

The image linked to this post is one of my favourite visual examples of this.

In both cases, the person is completely right ... based on their perspective.

I recently had an experience where I was trying to explain and show my understanding of the last mile space. That my experience deploying and managing last mile in one context, easily and logically translates to another.

For me, I was being crystal clear. My examples clearly demonstrated my mastery and understanding, the way I was framing my points was relevant.

And then "Can you highlight how this relates to last mile ..."

My initial reaction was to simply restate what I already had (since I had done such a 'good job'). Then I paused. I took some time to step out of myself, and take a different approach. The fact was, irrespective of how well it made sense for me, it clearly was not working or landing properly for the other person. 

Why?

The problem was not my content. The reality is what I was saying was very technically sound, and I have all the experience and understanding to prove it. But that was also the problem. I had the experience and I had the understanding; but I am not trying to relate to the problem, someone else was, they haven't share my experiences.

Then the question was, what can I do to make what I am saying relevant for the other person? How can I frame my examples in a way that would land properly with someone with a different level of understanding or expsure to this space.

That was a really powerful exercise and I am extremely thankful that it happened.

It got me to get outside of my head, to think about things from the perspective of someone else and in a way that made sense for them.

We can get so hung up on our experience; the time that we have spent with something and the mastery & expertise that we have developed. We have to appreciate however that sharing those ideas or understanding with someone who has a similar paradigm is one thing, it is quite another however when you are trying to communicate with someone who has a different world view.

What is uncommon however in these types of situations is the other person in this story continually making clear that they didn't understand. Most of the time people won't put in this much effort. Had the person taken a 'traditional' approach, they probably would have just nodded and gave the impression of understanding and would have moved on. A disservice to both of us.

The next time you are speaking to someone about something where there is a big gap in experience or perhaps the level of understanding or mastery, take the time to validate that what you said made sense for them. Think about how you can relate your experience to someone in a way that doesn't require all the knowledge you gained going through it.

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