The Delicate Dichotomy of “The Right Choice”

 The Best Decision Isn’t Always as Obvious as It Seems

Your success at work is correlated to the quality of your relationships.

Easy right? It’s common sense. You might even be wondering who doesn’t already know this.

The challenge isn’t about attitude though. You’re right, nobody likes the as%ho^e — Don’t be that person.

The challenge comes when you have to choose between being right or making the right choice.

The Problem

My team and I had been working on a large project that had been pushed back multiple times over the years. The market finally got to a point where the problem in the field had to be addressed.

We dusted off our files and started looking at the information we had built 3 years prior. We made our plans for what needed to be refreshed and how we would go about it.

We cut through the project quickly. The team had matured a lot in that time and those roadblocks from the past were mere pebbles on the road this time around.

Cue the problem. The fundamental assumptions of the project weren’t going to hold. The opportunity that we thought was there was less than what we had expected. On top of it, we would need to force this through. The changes proposed would bring major challenges to our partners and would cause upset and unrest. People would lose their jobs. It had serious consequences.

Analysis in hand, I presented our results. It was unfortunate. Everyone was frustrated. We left the boardroom deflated and frustrated that we couldn’t deliver what the company needed.

The Decision

The next week I found myself at a major conference and was out of the country. I had already been there a few days. I explored a new city, met a lot of new vendors, and was ready to see the keynotes scheduled for the rest of the week.

Sitting in one of the breakout rooms, I’m waiting for the presenter to start. My phone goes off. It was an email from one of the project stakeholders. It said that he had reconsidered and decided to move forward with the project — to please let him know when my team would complete the work and be ready to move.

I stared at the screen for a while. Reread the email a few times. What was I missing? Nothing had changed. This didn’t work. Why would we implement this?

I wrote a response figuring all I had to do was re-explain the gaps and everything would be okay.

Another email comes in.

“I understand. Just do it.”

I’m blown away. This isn’t right. It’s not the right thing to do. The impact is too harsh for what we get back.

Clearly, I have no choice. I prepare another email. This one is more specific, pointed even. I list all of the reasons why this is wrong, why the stakeholder is making a bad decision, the impact it will have on the company, and several other sharp bullets in my favour.

I hit send and go back to the conference.

That email caused a stir. Not because of how it was written (although I know that didn’t help), but rather to who it was addressed. You see, I decided since the stakeholder didn’t understand the issue at hand, I would be better off emailing their boss. A National Senior Vice President.

The Result

I won and lost, all at the same time.

I say I won because the project never moved forward. My position and analysis were correct, the cons outweighed any of the gains.

I lost because I destroyed a relationship to do it. The impact of my decision lasted for years, things were never the same after that.

The Lesson

Being right doesn’t always mean that you have made the right choice.

After getting over my ego and self-righteousness around the situation, I was able to admit to myself that I made a mistake. I had all kinds of other options available to me. Different strategies and ways I could have approached the problem.

I allowed myself to think in 1’s and 0’s. To see the path in front of me as binary. And since I had the moral high ground, all I could see was victory. Tunnel vision at its worst.

The Take-Away

We’re all faced with hard decisions. We will all be in positions where we have to choose between technically right and the right path forward.

How I handle these situations has changed. I have never repeated this mistake.

Focus on the goal. Appreciate that everyone is trying to do the same thing you are, make a positive impact.

Slow down. Ask more questions. Work to understand their perspective and find where you have common ground.

Move the person along slowly. People don’t do well with radical shifts in thinking when they also believe they are right.

Don’t ever make it about you.