I'm sure seeing the title made some people cringe.
Are these not some of the biggest buzzwords over the last 5 years? On one hand, I am sure a lot of people are frustrated with the avalanche of "self-improvement advice", I am sure that there are feelings of aren't I already enough? Am I not already good enough.
You are 100% enough.
That is not the point of this post. My hope in writing this is that it may help you appreciate how often we are our own barriers for the success that we want. Most of us have grown up and come through systems that promote the status quo. Most people will rationalize the status quo (even when it is in conflict with their own interests) as legitimate in order to fit in and be accepted.
A popular frame for this is that it is done out of fear. That we fear the unknown, it lacks certainty so we do what we can to avoid it. The truth is you cannot fear something that you know nothing about. Your fear is coming from your perception of the unknown, the frames that you put around it. You fear the certainty of the known, of where you fit in, and of how you currently understand the world.
It's powerful once you come to appreciate that and give yourself permission to not only question more about the world around you, but your own beliefs and understanding of it.
The only way you (or anyone) can truly help yourself is by challenging your ideas.
When you are feeling frustrated with where you currently are, when you scroll social and see 'everyone' more together, more successful, happier than you are; you feel frustrated because of how you are perceiving where you should be. We start looking for a "quick fix". It must be that I need a relationship, a different relationship, more friends, less friends, a better job, etc.
The truth is you are focusing more on winning than you are playing the game. If all you think about is how to 'win' you will never be satisfied with where you are.
Start focusing on progress.
What are your interests? What do you choose to do with your time when you have complete control? What are things that are tied to that or run parallel?
What are the parts of your job you enjoy? Is there another job that has more of that type of work? Have you looked?
You have to invest in yourself. No one can give you the answers. Life is not a math equation, there is not linear way to approach the problem and solve it (if there was, it would be a pretty boring place!).
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